1. This is how you know you’ve found ‘the one’
This might sound weird, but when my brother asked me how I knew if my wife was the one I told him that being around her felt like being alone, but a bit better. For me, even hanging out with some of my best friends can feel a bit draining. With my wife, it always just felt easy… I think that’s love (to me). Also, a friend of mine once told me that “love isn’t something you feel, it’s something you do”. Feeling love and telling somebody you love them is not enough – you have to show them with your actions
2. This is what you need to look for in a partner
Go for someone that you share common interests and philosophies in. A nice ass is great but hearing her bitch at you everyday for pointless stuff isn’t worth it. Find a person that cares about your interests, or at least will genuinely support the things that make you you. Even if they are of little interest to them. My wife doesn’t care one bit about softball, but she comes to my games to cheer and support me. It makes me feel so good to have her there.
3. How to know you’re ready for a relationship
If you are not willing to be vulnerable to your partner, you are not ready.
4. How to prioritise
Stop pursuing women more than you pursue your passions. Passionate people are very attractive–regardless of what they look like.
5. How to argue
When we disagree, it’s never me vs her. It’s us vs the problem.
6. Why you need to be honest
Be honest. Be brutally honest. Make sure they’re honest with you.
When people are dating or trying to get a date, they often slip into saying what they think the other person wants to hear, or presenting a version of themselves they think people want to see. It works in the short term. It’s garbage in the long term.
Be honest, find someone who likes honest you, and then you’re golden.
“I’ve been with my wife for 10 years, since we met aged 20. 4 great years, one TERRIBLE year, a period where we learnt we had to be really truthful with each other, followed by 5 fucking amazing years where we realised what we honestly wanted was the same thing.”
7. Don’t rush
Don’t be in a hurry for any reason. If it’s right, she’ll still be around when the right time comes. If it’s not right, she’ll bounce before you’re married and you won’t have to deal with divorce proceedings!
8. Don’t ignore the niggles
If you are with someone and you think, “huh, that kinda bothers me when they do that” it will always bother you. You don’t magically start to like things that used to bug you. If you don’t discuss it (in a sane, calm, and non-threatening way) or at least try and understand why they are doing the thing that bothers you, it will just get worse and worse.
Adults are who they are going to be. Just hoping someone will change is a lost cause and you want to be with someone with whom you are naturally compatible. You don’t want to shape someone into your ideal person and people don’t want to be shaped.
9. And in the meantime…
Enjoy your time. Being married and being single are different and both have their advantages.