Nigeria relationship counselor, Allison Hyacintho has taken to his Facebook page to give his opinion between best friends and lovers. According to his post, many people have loose good friendships just because they bring in their emotions. He further said people need to understand when people are good for friendship and when they are good for relationships.
His full post:
So relevant! I need someone to understand that God did not put every person in your life for you to date. Alot of us make that mistake all the time. Just because we are best friends does not mean we will be best lovers.
Just because our friendship is right does not make us right for eachother. Some of us have lost some great friendships because we stretched forward beyond where God intended for us to stop.
Dear friend, you need to understand when people are good for friendship and when they are good for a relationship. Most times we just go on and ruin a very good friendship because we are leaning on our emotions. God plants people in your life to help you and comfort you for a season and with a reason , but we always go and mess things up by dating the people He has put in our path to help us get to where He is taking us.
Some of you reading this peace have dated and broken up with your destiny helpers, because you didn’t have the wisdom and the self control to know that where you both are is where God wants you two to be, nothing more.
The worse thing about some of these relationships is that it often never ever last past the first six months. We just assume that our relationship will pan out the exact same way as our friendship; good, free flowing, be yourself with someone who understands you, communicate and play like the besties you already are.
Oh alot of us come up with the most popular excuse to ask a bestie out or to accept a bestie’s love proposal;
“We are best friends, we understand each other so well, it makes it easier”… Please understanding this if you can;
There is a huge difference between understanding in friendship and understanding in a relationship. Friendship is usually 10X easier. There are no serious commitments, no silly love expectations, no responsibility on anyone even as a bestie bestie, we are fine whether our affections are reciprocated or not, we are good even when you don’t call for weeks, in our heart we are still besties, and any month you remember to call we will spend hours talking and catching up on all the times we have been disconnected.
It’s just plain easy to be friends with someone you owe no emotional attachment, at least I like all your facebook photos and comment on your post once in a while, no friendship lost.
But the moment you switch it on to dating, it becomes 10X more work, 10X more commitment, 10X more responsibility. It is never the same as when you were just friends, now there are expectations, now its not okay for you to call me whenever you want, you cannot even go silent on me for a day, even when your phone gets stolen I aspect you to call me with your brother’s phone. No airtime credits? Well, borrow from MTN and reach out to me. It’s never the same. When you start dating you soon realise the friendship was a better place for you, because you begin to realise that your bestie is not that bestie enough to draw that kind of a deep commitment from you. After the first six months it is not as fun as it used to be, because now you can no longer see me when you want to see me.
It’s not the same guys. God did not put everyone In your life for you to date, I learnt this lesson after I had messed up all the significant friendships that God put in my path. Do not behave like Uncle Allison of that year ��, you’ll just date and breakup with someone that God has planted in your life to invest 15billion into your business, because you are quarrelling with the spirit of discernment.�#toolateforyourmarriagetofail #confessionsofagoodman #allisonhyacintho